Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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