My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
