I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
