This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize