You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
