I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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