Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
