nutella sex= disaster
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
