I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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