Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
