accomplished twins. life is a go
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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