he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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