You really coming over, don't trick.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
