You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
