really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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