Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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