so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
