This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
