Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
