you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and i looked up. we had an audience...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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