Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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