i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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