is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
