we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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