i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
