how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
