U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
