whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
