physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
