so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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