I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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