his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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