i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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