how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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