Say something about gay babies.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
