When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So many bounce houses so little time
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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