I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
