I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
