You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
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