Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
