Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
