Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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