were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
