All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
