look no pants
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
