The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
