she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
