Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize