This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
