im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Everything about him screamed your future.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
