On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
