Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
