Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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