Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
