Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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