Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
