I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
