i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize