guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
