Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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