I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
