Its about making memories worth repressing
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He felt like a one man threesome
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
