Your tits are I can't wait for
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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