6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize