Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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