marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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