if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize