Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
