every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
