So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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