Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize